Fred2Blue

A fortnightly rant, FL-S style (VOGUE Bulldog Edition):

Much has been written and discussed at water coolers across this great land about Sarah Palin’s $150,000 high-fashion boondoggle.

And goodness knows this blogger has gotten a lot of mileage from it.

Still, there’s been hardly a peep from the Alaska Governor about the clothes purchased for her and her family by the Republican National Committee from such fine retailers as Saks Fifth Avenue, Nieman Marcus, Bloomingdales, Atelier, and others.

In these tough economic times, even the so-called rich think its distasteful to rub so much high-priced ladies ready-to-wear under the noses of voters who aren’t sure they are going to cover next month’s mortgage, car loans, health plan co-pays, and revolving credit…let alone staple items from the supermarket like milk, eggs, and toilet paper.

Maybe the Governor is at a loss for words to explain so much extravagance in such times of financial peril.  Dunno.

But this much we do know:  Governor, you’ve got a P.R. problem of biblical proportions.

So as a continued public service we here at Fred2Blue  – fresh from writing an editorial draft for the FL-S’ presidential endorsement - are offering the Guv help to (explain herself to Real America). And this is really nifty: we have repurposed the 1952 Republican Vice-Presidential nominee Richard Nixon’s nationally-televised address - the so-called “Checkers Speech” – in which Tricky Dick takes on accusations of alleged financial impropriety.

You’ll be amazed, Governor, how little of the original 1952 transcript we modified.  For your consideration:

My Fellow Real Americans,

I come before you tonight as a candidate for the Vice-presidency and as a man woman whose honesty and integrity has (sic.) been questioned.

Now, the usual political thing to do when charges are made against you is to either ignore them or to deny them without giving details. I believe we have had enough of that in the United States, particularly with the present administration in Washington D.C.

To me, the office of the Vice-presidency of the United States is a great office, in fact I want to re-write the U.S. Constitution to make it an even greater office and I feel that the people have got to have confidence in the integrity of the men and women who run for that office and who might attain them.

I have a theory, too, that the best answer to a smear (by East Coast Liberal Elites) or an honest misunderstanding of the facts, is to tell the truth. And that is why I am here tonight. I want to tell you my side of the case.

I am sure that you have read the charges, and you have heard it, that I, Senator Nixon, Governor Palin took $18,000 from a group of my supporters accepted $150,000 worth of merchandise from Saks Fifth Avenue, Bloomingdales, Nieman Marcus, and other fine retail establishments.

Now, was that wrong? …

I am saying it, incidentally, that it was wrong, just not illegal, because it isn’t a question of whether it was legal or illegal, that isn’t enough. The question is, was it morally wrong? I say that it was morally wrong if any of that $18,000 $150,000 in apparel merchandise went to Senator Nixon Governor Palin, for (my) personal use. I say that it was morally wrong if it was secretly given and secretly handled.

And I say that it was morally wrong if any of the (RNC) contributors got special favors for the contributions that they made of apparel worn by me or members of my family.

…

I should say this, that Pat never owned a fur coat Todd never owned an Armani double-breasted suit. But she he does have a respectable Republican cloth coat Vintage 1980s Members Only jacket, and I always tell her she him he would look good in anything.  He is the first dude, you know. …

One other thing I probably should tell you, because if I don’t they will probably be saying this about me, too. We did get something…

A man down in Texas heard Pat on the radio mention the fact that our two youngsters would like to have a dog, A member of the Republican National Committee said he heard that our daughter Piper really wanted her own handbag and, believe it or not, the day before we left on this campaign trip we got a message from Union Station in Baltimore Saks Fifth Avenue saying they had a package for us. We went down to get it. You know what it was?

It was a little cocker spaniel dog, in a crate that he had sent all the way from Texas, black and white, spotted, Louis Vuitton handbag and our little girl Tricia, the six year old, Piper who is 7 named it Checkers. “LV”.

And you know, the kids, like all kids, girls her age, Piper loved the dog Louis Vuitton handbag and I just want to say this, right now, that regardless of what they say about it, WE ARE GOING TO KEEP IT!

Richard M. Nixon – September 23, 1952 Sarah Palin  October 24, 2008

Little Tricia and Julie Nixon got to keep the Springer Spaniel named Checkers. Will little Piper win some sympathy from economically-imperiled voters in Cuyahoga County, Ohio, and get to keep her Louis Vuitton swag?

UPDATE: Today, famous Hungarian-born celebrity Zsa Zsa Gabor was asked: WWZZD? (What would Zsa Zsa do?)

Gabor, 91 years old and very familiar with controversy and the inside of a jail cell, said:

“Keep the clothes, dahling!”

UPDATE II: Could Piper’s handbag be…A FAKE?

People that know fakes from the genuine article now say that, on the bag Piper is shown holding (above), the “LV” logo runs into the stitching.

Well, if indeed true, the makes this situation a whole lot worse for the Guv.

Knock-off handbags are BAD.  VERY BAD.  They are unauthorized (so making and selling them is stealing). The Louis Vuitton symbol and handbag design are copyrighted in many countries.   Knock-off bags are made to sell cheap and as such are often made off-shore by underpaid, underaged and often mistreated labor. Work conditions in these sweatshops are deplorable.

Governor, allowing Piper to walk around with a knock-off bag says to the world that you thumb your nose to legitimate companies that provide well-paying jobs, all in the name of VANITY.  (You want what you want.)

Is that a REAL AMERICAN value, Governor?  Just ask one of the many thousands of voters that have lost jobs (in the name of such vanity).

UPDATE III: Dig yourself a deeper hole, why don’t ya?

From that East Coast Liberal Elite Rag (not), the New York Post, the latest denial…

If people knew how Todd and I and our kids shop so frugally. My favorite shop is a consignment shop in Anchorage, Alaska, called ‘Out of the Closet,’ and my shoe store is called ‘Shoe Fly’ in Juneau, Alaska. It is … not 5th Avenue type of shopping,” Palin said, adding that the RNC purchases will either be returned or go to charity.

Is there anyone left in hard times Pasco County, Florida that actually buys this Bluelight Special?

UPDATE IV: Sarah’s Stylist Paid MORE THAN Policy Advisor. See NYTimes story, here.

STOP THE INSANITY!  STOP THE INSANITY!  STOP THE INSANITY!